Emotional Balance

What are your priorities for the holidays?

Is the holiday season also one of the most stressful times of the year for you?  You spend an inordinate amount of time and money at the shopping malls hunting for gifts that at the end of nobody remembers.  You to get the house ready and decorated before the extended family arrives. You live on cookies, coffee and hot cider.  Sleep is an afterthought.  You feel more and more stressed, irritated and overwhelmed. And secretly you cannot wait for “the most special time of the year” to be over.

This was pretty much how my mother used to prepare for Christmas until she was in her seventies.  Only one year, she allowed her children to help her – and herself to not have everything perfect.  That Christmas time seemed to have slowed down, probably because we were more in the present.  Whether we cooked, ate, cleaned or just sat together, for some reason we all were conscious of the preciousness of each moment.  We shared old stories, laughed about each other’s annoying and yet endearing quirks.  And at times we just remained silent, listening to Christmas carols and the wood crackling in the fireplace.  This was the first time since my childhood that I had felt the magic of the season again.  And this was the last Christmas we all spent together, since my parents both died just a few months later.

You may have watched the Christmas commercial of a German supermarket chain.  If not here it is – just make sure to have tissues ready. Although a bit controversial, the story tries to remind us, how quickly we can get our priorities wrong. We take busyness as a sign of worthiness. Perfection and consumption replace purpose and connection. The pressure of pleasing others lets us forget the pleasure of just playing together.

The question is: how can we stop this cycle? We can’t just cancel the Holidays or quit our life? Is stress during the Holidays truly unavoidable? Here are a few tips that can help you to make the holidays less stress- and more meaningful:

  • Set your intentions:  Take some time and think about your personal theme for this holiday season. This could be to appreciate the people that are in your life; to celebrate yourself with doing things you enjoy; or to practice acceptance of those, who used to push your buttons in the past.
  • Go deeper: While the holidays are often about eating, drinking and being merry, try to choose a focus that will bring more meaning to you. You could pick a person, who you want to connect with on a deeper level; you could show interest in the lives of others and share more authentically about yourself. Or you may choose to explore your spiritual connection.
  • Practice self-care: Just like with my mother, overdoing and over-giving may be a part of your holiday tradition. This year make sure to remember what is important to you to keep your balance and sanity. Nourish yourself with food that make you feel good; exercise or meditate to stay centered and flexible; take some time alone, when you feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle. And try to remind yourself, that you can’t make anyone happy on the back of your own depletion and unhappiness.

Listen to my empowerment radio show and learn effective tools, which allow you to stay relaxed, get more done and truly enjoy this special time of the year.

I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful holiday season and health, peace and happiness for 2016.

Wednesday, December 30th, 2015 Emotional Balance, Mind-Body-Spirit, Positive Thinking Comments Off on What are your priorities for the holidays?

Are there benefits to comparing yourself with others?

Do you have the ever alluring habit of comparing yourself with others?  Maybe you are envious of a colleague at work, who gets one promotion after another, while your efforts seem to be ignored. Or you wonder how your neighbor can afford that brand-new car, which makes your 5 year old sedan look like a beater. Or maybe you are stalking “the ex” on Facebook, only to find out that he or she has so much more fun since your relationship ended.  Isn’t it true that comparing ourselves with others is one of the surest ways to feel bad about ourselves and our lives? So why do we keep on doing it?

I don’t know about you, but when I grew up, my parents used to point out to me the kids that were better in school, played better piano, or were just nicer all around.  If they really wanted to get to me, they compared me to a boy from our little village, who was born in the same hospital just a few minutes after me.  They speculated, half-jokingly, there must have been a mix-up after delivery since this boy was so much politer, smarter and more diligent – you name it – than me. Thus early on I learned that in order to measure up and please those I cared about, I needed to keep an eye on the ”competition.”

I used to believe that comparing myself to those, who were doing better than me, would motivate me to work more and push harder.  Yet, since there was always someone who performed better than me, it was difficult to celebrate my own successes.  So not surprisingly, comparing myself with others, did more damage to my sense of self-worth and confidence than it helped building it.

I heard a man from India once saying that one of the reasons why people in the western world are more miserable than his compatriots was that we have learned to compare ourselves with those, who are “above” us, while Indians tends to measure themselves with those that are less fortunate.  I’m not sure if this kind of comparison is preferable, unless it leads to a sense of gratitude and also compassion for those, who are struggling.

However, what about using comparison as a way to learn from the mastery of others? Neuro-linguistic programming calls this approach modeling. The keys to successful modeling are open-mindedness, curiosity about the success strategies others are employing and most importantly a non-judgmental attitude. So next time, when you are tempted to entertain your mind with a round of comparing yourself to others, rather than letting yourself feel less than or inadequate, ask yourself, if there is anything about this person, you can learn from and model. I believe that we are here on earth to learn and evolve – which is why we are ultimately all students and teachers for one another.

Join me for my next empowerment radio-show and more about how you can use self-comparison as leverage for growth and empowerment.

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015 Conscious Mind, Consciousness, Emotional Balance, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment, Self-Healing, Subconscious Mind Comments Off on Are there benefits to comparing yourself with others?

The Power of Inner Connection

core essence

Do you ask yourself sometimes “who am I, and what is my purpose?” Or do you feel torn between how other people perceive you, and what you sense is your authentic truth. I’m invited to speak at the The Power of Inner Connection Tele-summit, a free 10 Day eventwhich focuses on how to tune into your inner wisdom and access the potential of your essence.

Let’s talk about your essence, the core energy of who we are. This idea of a core essence may appear a bit esoteric and a bit “woo woo.” Believe me, my scientific mind was ruffled by this concept when I first got in touch with my own essence. However, what truly astounded me and confirmed my own experiences was that no matter how open minded or skeptical my clients were, when I guided them to connect to their essence, the overwhelming majority described sensing it in the same way—as a brilliant light in their heart.

People commonly associate qualities such as love, compassion, and goodness, as well as strength, joy, and passion, with this core energy.  Although the news these days might lead you to believe that human behavior is largely defined by greed, self-righteousness, and a disregard of the greater good.  There is at least as much evidence testifying to an inherent goodness in all of us. It’s that powerful force that makes us jump into the freezing river to save another human being, or even an animal from drowning. It’s that natural instinct that drives us to reach out and support each other when disaster strikes, as countless stories described people doing after the events on September 11, 2001, Hurricane Katrina, or just now after the horrific earthquake in Nepal.  It’s that inner source that rewards selfless service with a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.  It’s a place from which we can draw love, compassion, and forgiveness, even for those we don’t know or who hurt us the most. This is our core essence.

OK, so maybe you still aren’t sure about the goodness of your essence, because you haven’t saved anybody’s life, you don’t volunteer, and you still can’t forgive your ex. Believe me, you’re being far too hard on yourself. Here’s a way to recognize that you’ve actually been in touch with your pure essence more often than you previously realized.

Take a pen and paper, and write down events of the present and past where you have:

  • Helping-othersAccepted and loved a person or animal without expectations or conditions
  • Forgiven someone out of a sense of kindness and compassion
  • Put your own needs and desires aside and focused solely on another person’s well-being
  • Been completely open and willing to listen, consider, and understand a different point of view
  • Admitted with humility (not shame) that you were wrong
  • Felt touched and inspired by another person’s generosity, patience, acceptance, or selflessness
  • Embraced and appreciated the beauty and the gifts of your life
  • Been in complete peace and harmony with yourself―and the world and people all around you

While you’re revisiting your past, make sure that you’re gentle with yourself. Focus on your potential, and keep in mind that even if these experiences of compassion, love, or peace passed rather quickly, they can still help you find your way back to a deeper connection with the source of those emotions and energies―your essence.

The question is, how can you create a closer relationship with your essence and its powerful resources and make it to your foundation of self on a subconscious and cellular level? The fabulous teachers, healers and authors of the upcoming FREE The Power of Inner Connection Telesummit, will provide you with powerful insights, tips and techniques on how to stay connected and live from and through your inner truth.

Friday, May 1st, 2015 Emotional Balance, Positive Thinking, self-esteem, Upcoming Events Comments Off on The Power of Inner Connection

How Do You Know You Have an Anxiety Problem?

10982316_sWhen was the last time that fear and anxiety made you feel vulnerable, unsafe and out of control? Being anxious can feel so intense and overwhelming, that all you want is to suppress or get rid of it. But how do you that? Chances are that neither your parents nor your teachers in school showed you how to deal with anxiety. And like most of us, you had to figure out on your own, how to respond to being anxious or insecure. The problem is that you may have become so good in managing your anxiety, that you don’t even realize that you’re just surviving every day, rather than finding joy and purpose in your life.
..
There are 4 major survival patterns, through which most people try to consciously and subconsciously control their fears and anxieties. If you are finding yourself using one or several of these survival patterns on a daily basis, you know you have an anxiety problem.

The Avoider

If you are an avoider, you are probably very sensitive to criticism, rejection and failure. You try to escape potential hurt through making yourself smaller or even invisible. You hide in a small and controllable comfort zone and preemptively loath and criticize yourself, before anyone else can do this to you. Outside of your refuge, you vigilantly scan your surroundings for any signs of judgment or danger. As an avoider you deny yourself any sense of empowerment, because in your mind feeling confident and positive only increases the risk of getting hurt.

The Pleaser

As a pleaser you believe that your best chances to avoid painful rejection or abandonment, is to make sure that everyone is “ok” with you. You may be the care-taker, who feels overly responsible for others; the chameleon, who is able to fit in everywhere; or the jokester, who tries to win people over through being the life of the party. In pleasing mode you try to manage your anxiety by not being alone, which is why your sense of safety and worthiness depends on the approval of others.

The Controller

If you have the constant need to control every aspect of your life, you may not realize that all you are doing is to manage your fear of being powerlessness. You may even take on the role of being the authority and strictly enforce your ideas and rules through anger, threats and punishment, just to avoid feeling exposed and unsafe. By controlling others through instilling a sense of insecurity and powerlessness, you feel more empowered and secure. However, underneath this dominating behavior often reside profound feelings of inferiority, vulnerability and pain, which stem from traumas and confusion from your childhood.

The Achiever

Are you known as a go-getter, who always exceeds everyone’s expectations? Do you continue to strive for the next achievement, never taking the time to enjoy the one you just reached? Or maybe you call yourself a perfectionist, who can’t accept mediocrity. As an (“over-“) achiever, failure and second-place aren’t an option, because your identity and worthiness are defined by your successes. However, although this form of drive and competitiveness may have got you far, deep inside it is still the deep-seated fear of not being good enough, which keeps you running and striving. All of these survival patterns have one thing in common: they don’t lead to a true sense of inner peace and happiness. As you become more and more dependent on these strategies to cope with your anxiety and insecurity, you drain your energy and power, which only increases the likelihood of feeling stressed and anxious. Because no matter how many people you have avoided or kept successfully at arm’s length; and no matter how many you have “wowed,” made happy or controlled – in the end you may still end up feeling powerless, because you have been defining yourself through circumstances and people around you, and thus making them more important than yourself. The good news is, that you can overcome these fear and anxiety patterns faster than you may expect, by discovering and addressing their subconscious root causes. If you are ready to stop fear and anxiety from running your life and tap into your true potential, join me for my upcoming

Breakthrough & Empowerment Life-Video Webinar

What’s included in this 3-month program?

  • Two monthly 90-minute live interactive video breakthrough sessions
  • Preparation & integration exercises and self-empowerment tools
  • Monthly 30-minute Q & A sessions
  • Recordings of all sessions, so no worries if you can’t make it to the live calls
  • E-mail support in between sessions
  • 40 day customtailored empowerment program to solidify the breakthrough results

Bonus: Be Free: Release Stress and Anxiety MP3 Price: $595 If registered before March 15th only $495

If you are ready to start your breakthrough CLICK HERE I am looking forward to helping you transform your life.

Monday, March 9th, 2015 conscious awareness, Emotional Balance, Self-Healing, Subconscious Mind Comments Off on How Do You Know You Have an Anxiety Problem?

BREAK THROUGH TO HEALING AND EMPOWERMENT IN 95 DAYS

Since the release of “The Fear and Anxiety Solution” people have been asking me, when I will offer a seminar on overcoming fear and anxiety. Many told me that while the book gave them new insights and tools on how to overcome their emotional challenges, it has been difficult for them to navigate through the maze of their minds on their own. I understand that and I agree, which is why I am excited to now offer The Fear and Anxiety Solution Live Video Webinar – Break Through to Healing and Empowerment in 95 Days, which will start on April 8.

Does this sound familiar to you?

  • You feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety
  • Your worries and insecurities prevent you from doing what you really want
  • Your life is becoming smaller and smaller
  • Your negative emotions and panic attacks make you feel powerless and stuck
  • You’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work

If you have been struggling with anxiety, worry, insecurity or stress, you know that your natural reaction is to try to just get rid of these uncomfortable emotions. But you have probably also noticed that the more you fight your anxiety, the stronger it seems to get. Why? Because, similar to physical pain, you can’t just suppress the symptom –the solution is that you need to address its cause.

In this 3-month program you will learn how to identify, understand and heal the deeper subconscious root causes of your fear and anxiety, so that you can live your fullest potential. Are you ready to…?

  • Be free from past traumatic events
  • Create a new foundation of confidence and self-empowerment
  • Be calm and centered no matter what the circumstances
  • Have a deeper understanding and appreciation for the truth of who you are
  • Overcome oversensitivity
  • Experience a greater sense of wholeness and congruency
  • Enhance your relationships, career, health and overall well-being

Why this live video seminar can give you the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for? You probably agree, that one of the biggest challenges with fear and anxiety is, that it can make you feel isolated and confused. While everyone else seems to be able have it together, you are feeling more and more helpless and alone. And no matter how hard you try to make yourself feel better, your own mind seems to be too complex and confusing to make sense out of it. I have been helping thousands of people all over the world with my personal breakthrough and empowerment program to overcome their fear and anxiety. In this 3 month seminar, I will guide you step-by-step through this program and teach you how to take your power back and grow beyond your perceived limitations. And as you are working together with a group of people, who have been going through similar struggles as you do, you realize that you are no longer alone. In between sessions, you will connect with empowerment partners, so that you can support each other to implement what you learn in each segment and stay on track. What’s included in this 3-month program?

  1. Six 90-minute live interactive video breakthrough sessions (Wednesday 9 AM PT, noon ET)
  2. Preparation and integration exercises and self-empowerment tools
  3. Monthly 30-minute Q & A sessions (Saturdays 9 AM PT, noon ET)
  4. Recording of all seminars in case you can’t make it live and so you can revisit as often as you’d like
  5. 40 day empowerment….

Bonus: Be Free: Release Stress and Anxiety MP3 Price: $595 – If registered before March 15 $495 Are you ready to break through your fear and anxiety and create a strong foundation of confidence and inner peace? The click here (link needs to be added) to start your breakthrough. I am looking forward to helping you transform your life.

Thursday, February 12th, 2015 conscious awareness, Consciousness, Emotional Balance, Mind, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment Comments Off on BREAK THROUGH TO HEALING AND EMPOWERMENT IN 95 DAYS

THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES PART 13: IS IT TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS?

Closeup Mirror Reflection of a Woman's FaceYou probably have heard the saying: “What holds us back isn’t who we are, but who we think we are.”  Whether we perceive a situation as “failure” or just “feedback,” “obstacle” or “opportunity,” “no” or “not yet” depends largely on our beliefs. Some beliefs give us wings, unleash our creative genius and help us to dig deep when the going gets tough. Others can be the prison walls of our mind, which keep us locked in our imagined limitations. Don’t you admire those people, who exhibit a relentless drive towards reaching their goals and don’t even blink in the face of a set-back?

Take Russell Wilson as an example. Being only 5’11” he was told that he was too small to be successful player in the National Football League. Yet, he ignored the nay-sayers and continued to focus on pursuing the dream of his life. Last year, after only two years playing professional football, he became one of the youngest – and shortest– quarterbacks to win the Super Bowl with his team. In interviews he often credits his positive outlook, daily visualizations and his unwavering belief that despite his physical limitations he would be able to achieve greatness as the keys to his success.

So if beliefs can make the impossible reachable, why doesn’t everybody use empowering beliefs as leverage to success? On my personal journey and in working with my clients, I found that there are three common obstacles that can make changing limiting beliefs into empowering ones difficult:

We don’t know that we are trapped in a limiting belief

Beliefs are anchored on the level of the subconscious mind and act as filters that shape and usually distort our sense of reality. For example, if you have a belief that “you are a loser” you are more likely to interpret any obstacle in your way as a reason to give up. Or you may believe that “the world is harsh and unfriendly”; as a consequence you take every little criticism as a huge rejection, and ignore those people who love and adore you. If you have been seeing yourself or the world around you through these limiting filters for quite some time, you may not even realize that you are dealing with a warped perception of reality. I often hear people saying, “I don’t have any limiting beliefs; I just know that I can’t have what I want.” One way of identifying your limiting beliefs is to write down all your negative thoughts in the course of one week. You will notice that most of your thoughts circle around only two or three different topics. Ask yourself what you need to believe about these topics to think so negatively and you will have identified some of your limiting beliefs.

We don’t know how to choose a new belief

As a belief can shape our reality, it can also become our identity. And when you see yourself as a “loser” or the world as a “harsh and unfriendly place” it can be challenging to envision a more positive perspective. If you would choose to believe “I am a winner” or “everyone is friendly and kind” your subconscious mind would probably reject those beliefs as unrealistic fantasies. This is why it can be helpful to gently stretch your belief-system, rather than deflate yourself with too lofty ideas. So instead of calling yourself a “loser” you may decide to consider yourself as a “learner,” who is eager to grow and empower himself. And in regards to your relationship to the world around you, how about believing that “you will be a positive and healing force in it”? The goal is to expand your perception and stretch yourself out of the familiar comfort zone, while feeling motivated and excited to grow into the next bigger version of yourself.

We don’t feed our new beliefs

The greatest obstacle between an idea and its execution is doubt. Although you have decided to focus on a new, more empowering belief, you may doubt the validity of the new belief, while the familiar, limiting perspective of yourself appears still more realistic. The best way to alleviate this doubt is to collect supportive evidence that shows you that you possess the potential and inner resources to truly become the self you envision. For example to reinforce the notion of being a “learner” you can write down ten skills you acquired throughout your life, or ten times you have been facing challenges and what you have learned from dealing with them. In regards to being “a positive force in the world” you could ask the people that know you and care about you, what they love and appreciate about you. In looking for such supporting evidence, you will likely gain a broader, kinder, and more complete perspective of yourself and your potential.  

Having said all that, when it comes to changing our limiting beliefs, the single most important step is to accept that that nobody but ourselves can hold us back from growing into our empowered selves.

 
Friday, January 16th, 2015 conscious awareness, Conscious Mind, Consciousness, Emotional Balance, Positive Thinking, self-esteem Comments Off on THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES PART 13: IS IT TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS?

How can I stop my hyperactive and worrying mind?

We can literally talk ourselves into a state of stress and anxiety. In fact, when we pay close attention, we notice that most of the times we simply freak ourselves out. As Mark Twain once said, “I had a lot of tragedies in my life—most of them never happened.”

We’re not often consciously aware of the sequence of negative thoughts that lead to anxiety. The resulting feeling itself is what makes us pay attention. But how did we get there? The exercise below is a very powerful way of paying attention to the thoughts that often lead to a downward spiral into the dark pit of fear and anxiety. The descent can start with a “what if”, or an “I should have”, both mere assumptions, either about something that has not yet happened or something that we can’t change because it has already happened. Yet this does not stop us from entertaining these thoughts. These thoughts are often judgmental or critical in nature. We doubt ourselves and wonder what other people may think about us. And very quickly, thoughts pop up that seems to confirm the previous ones, which confirms or exacerbates the first one, adding to the raising feeling of gloom and uncertainty. The problem is that these thoughts seem to only partially enter our conscious awareness. They can be so quick and fleeting that we don’t really “catch” them. The initial idea is often immediately trailed by another thought, which confirms or exacerbates the first one – and so on.

I routinely ask my clients to watch their negative self-talk and actually write this talk down. Most of them are completely surprised when they find out how often negative thoughts float through their minds. But they are even more shocked by what they say to and about themselves. “How can I be so mean to myself?” is a very common reaction. Let’s face it, how often do we tell ourselves “I am stupid, fat, ugly, a loser,” etc., things that we would never tell anybody else directly to their face.

So why do we treat other people with more respect and consideration than we treat ourselves? Does it make sense that we don’t want to hurt others’ feelings and at the same time are our own worst critic? One of the most important components to breaking through fear and anxiety is to learn how to trust—especially to trust ourselves. Would you trust somebody who calls you “a loser” or tells you that “you don’t have what it takes?”

The following exercise is one of the most effective ways of handle negative, self-defeating mind-racing. However, there are a few considerations that are important to understand to use this tool most effectively.

One of the reasons this exercise works is because it interrupts the spiral of negative thinking before it gets us into the negative emotion. It is training our mind to not automatically follow this self-defeating train of thoughts, but to search for new options and ways to view the given situation. By considering the more positive angles, we are also planting seeds in our mind, which support the growth of greater confidence and self-esteem.

Another major factor is that we are learning to directly address the deeper source of the negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is not a conscious, intellectual choice. It stems from the subconscious mind. Imagine that a part of your subconscious mind is merely repeating old “tapes” of negative messages you heard many years ago. Maybe when you were a child, being worried and hyper-vigilant may have served you by helping you to feel more safe. Maybe you had to make sure that you were not getting in trouble with your parents or it felt much safer for you to be invisible. The reason why a “younger” part of your mind is continuously playing these old themes and holding on to these patterns is because that part has never been properly encouraged and reassured. By either ignoring these now rather non-supportive messages or buying into them through anxiety and worry, this subconscious part will just continue what it has been doing for a long time. So how would you respond if a little child would tell you that he or she feels bad and frightened? Would you ignore her or tell him,“yes, you a’re right, you suck, and the world is an unfriendly and dangerous place?” Of course not, because not only would you frighten the child more, but also what will happen is that this child will start screaming louder and louder. What you would do is to comfort and reassure this child, not merely with intellectual reasoning, but with gentle kindness from your heart. And as a result, the child would most likely feel safe and at peace again. This is the context in which you need to place the following negative-positive / self-talk exercise.

 To get specific:

Get a little notebook that you will carry with you at all times. In this book, you will write down all negative self-talk immediately when it comes up. Then ask yourself: “Is this true?” “Does believing this serve me or anybody else?” “Does believing this help me in reaching my goals?” These questions help you to interrupt the negative thought spiral.

Then promptly, next to the negative thought, write at least three positive ones, which are counter-balancing the negative thoughts. As you write down the words, make sure that you are fully aware of the positive qualities. Feel good about what you are writing. In the past, you may have tried to change negative thinking through positive counter-balancing. The reason why most people who unsuccessfully tried to counter-balance negative-self talk failed is that they did not add positive emotions to the positive statements. The subconscious mind does not care so much about words; It cares much more about feelings. So rather than using this exercise as mental gymnastics, make sure that you can feel and stand behind the positive statements you make. This is why the image of talking to a younger, subconscious self is so helpful, since it is easier to talk kindly and comforting to a child than to an adult self. Be very diligent and committed to this exercise, and don’t let one negative thought slip by without counter-balancing it. By using this method, most people are able to reduce negative self-talk by more than 80 percent in just a couple of weeks.

 

Monday, August 6th, 2012 Conscious Mind, Emotional Balance, Mind, Stress, Subconscious Mind Comments Off on How can I stop my hyperactive and worrying mind?

I’m Stuck and Want to Change

The first step to change is to realize that you actually want to change. Often change itself appears even scarier than the future consequences of staying stuck. And as long as the “what is” feels more comfortable than the “what ifs” of choosing a different direction, we don’t feel compelled to change. Therefore, it is very important to think about the reasons why we want to change. The motivation to do anything comes from knowing why we are doing it. The bigger the why, the stronger the motivation is.

So start the path of change by finding very compelling reasons for changing whatever you would like to change. Consider what it has cost you and will cost you to stay the same—emotionally, physically, financially, and so on. Think about how much energy the current situation drains from you, the lack of joy and fulfillment—you get the idea. This process creates a so called “away from” motivation, away from what is not working any longer. “Away from” motivations can be very powerful catalysts to start moving; however, most often they are not sufficient for real change.

Let’s say you’re dealing with lack of confidence or simply hate your current job, creating an “away from” motivation will get you to the place where you are certain that something needs to change. However, since what we focus on increases in importance, staying only with the “away from” focus can eventually make the problem appear even bigger, enhancing the feeling of being stuck. After you have established an “away from” motivation, you need to know where you are going. Otherwise you are trying to drive while looking only in the rear view mirror and you can imagine that this will not get you very far. Therefore, it is imperative to determine and focus on what you want.

There are several reasons why creating a “towards” motivation is so important and effective. First of all, the conscious mind needs clear directions. Changing or reinventing yourself, is just like planning your vacation, you need to determine where you want to go – and then get a map and find out how to get there. Think about how it would look like for you to be confident, self-assured, at peace with yourself – or how it would be to have a job that is satisfying and enjoyable.
Clear directions are very important for the subconscious mind to work most effectively. Remember a time, when you decided to buy that specific car, or were looking for a house, or were starting to fall in love with that special someone. Didn’t you notice that specific car in your chosen color much more frequently than before? Didn’t “for sale” or “for rent” signs magically appear everywhere? And how many times did your heart flip in a somersault, when you believed you saw the special someone in the midst of a crowd, only to find out that you have simply hallucinated . Once you decide what you want, your subconscious mind will tirelessly search for opportunities and ways for you to find it – or at least something close to it.

It is important to define the goal, the direction in a positive way. You can certainly appreciate the difference between “I don’t want to feel worried anymore” and “I want to feel confident, peaceful and free.” Or “I want to be pain free” and “I want to feel comfortable and vital.” Because the subconscious mind cannot compute negations, the “not” goals still keep you focused on the problem.

It is also crucial to not only have a mental concept of what you want and how you want to change, but also to add positive emotions to this desired outcome. Ask yourself “how will it feel, once I have reached this goal.” The subconscious mind communicates through sensations, images, and feelings. Words and mental concepts don’t have any meaning for it, unless they are tied to some kind of emotional attachment. The more positive you feel about our goal, the more importance this subject gains for the subconscious mind, and the more energy and focus the subconscious mind will spend on helping us to achieve it.

Neuro Linguistic Programming offers very powerful processes to create clear goals that give the conscious and the subconscious mind direction and positive momentum. This way, you will be able to automatically shift your energy and focus from the problem to the solution, from limitations to possibilities, from the past to the future, from being stuck to being proactive. Rather than struggling against the problem, you are guided by your conscious and subconscious mind toward the solution and the fulfillment of your goal. After all, 80 percent of success is deciding and focusing on what you want.

Monday, July 30th, 2012 Emotional Balance, Mind-Body-Spirit Comments Off on I’m Stuck and Want to Change

How to Listen to the Healing Messages of your Emotions

Often we don’t take the time to listen to our emotions – especially if they are perceived as “negative.” We avoid feeling them, because they appear too random, irrational and at times even overwhelming and utterly uncontrollable. However, by ignoring or avoiding these emotions, we don’t only miss out on the opportunity to learn and grow from them, but we also run the risk of having anger, sadness, anxiety or shame accumulate in our subconscious mind. Such emotional baggage can weigh us down, drain our energy and make us more susceptible to experience those feeling we tried to tune out. We rage in a traffic jam, cry at a hallmark commercial, jump when a fork drops or freeze when asked a question. In addition to that, emotional baggage has shown to weaken our immune system, which can lead to chronic illnesses such as cardiovascular and auto-immune diseases.

Here is a simple 3 step exercise, which allows you to consciously connect to your emotions, begin to understand and address their deeper meaning – and by doing so release them from their subconscious storage. To access this exercise click here.

Saturday, June 30th, 2012 Emotional Balance Comments Off on How to Listen to the Healing Messages of your Emotions

How to harness the wisdom and power of emotions like Anger

Growing up in an emotional family, I learned quickly to believe that emotions only cause commotion. The frequent anger outbursts of those around me felt as scary and overwhelming as the ever present anxiety and present. Being rather sensitive to my surroundings I took on the role of the “emotional diffuser” or “peacemaker,” which, my parents had already in mind for me, when they gave me my name Friedemann, which means “Man of peace.” My mission was to avoid or diffuse emotions and come up with a plan to reinstate peace and harmony in the family.

Like me, you may have experienced your own emotions or those of others, as random, overwhelming, even paralyzing and utterly uncontrollable. Maybe you’ve felt stuck in anger or anxiety, discouraged, or frustrated with yourself, because, unlike you, all the people around you seem to have it together. Wouldn’t your life be much better if you could run it by logic and reason? And wouldn’t it be best if you could just turn your emotions off?

Generally speaking, our modern society has little room and patience for feelings. Reason and logic are far more accepted and valued than sensitivity and emotions. However, we need emotions for guidance and to bring meaning to our lives. They provide us with important information about our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, and the value of our actions and choices. Every day, emotions have a significantly larger impact than facts and reasoning on the choices we make and how we experience our world. Isn’t it true that the moments we remember and cherish the most are those we associate with the strongest feelings?

In this 5 part interview series I will address the emotional archetypes of anger, sadness, guilt, shame and anxiety – and introduce the keys to utilize these powerful energies for your healing and personal growth.

You can listen to part 1 here, which will shed light on the “up and down-side of anger.”

Sunday, June 24th, 2012 Conscious Mind, Emotional Balance, Mind-Body-Spirit Comments Off on How to harness the wisdom and power of emotions like Anger
Friedemann Schaub, M.D. Ph.D. e: [email protected] p: 1.866.903.MIND or 206.323.2762
Copyright © Cellular Wisdom Inc., Mind-Body Medicine : Hypnosis, NLP, Time Line Therapy®      All rights reserved.                 website design by media eye studios, calgary web design