The Empowered Self: The Self-Commitment Issue

balance near waterWhen was the last time you played hooky, because you didn’t feel like going to work? And how often do you forget to pick up your kids at school or feed your beloved pets? I bet almost never. Yet, how is your follow-through when it comes to reaching your personal goals or just taking care of yourself? If you’ve ever tried to lose those extra pounds or get into better shape through exercise, you may have had this experience.

Once you’ve reached your goal, amnesia sets in. Somehow, all the knowledge and positive habits you’ve acquired through hard work are pushed aside, making room for a pint of ice cream in the shopping cart or excuses for why you can’t work out that day. Lo and behold, the pounds reappear, the muscle tone disappears, and you find yourself right back where you started. Or you work through an empowering self-improvement program. At first, you’re energized, motivated, and committed to diligently apply all the insights and tools you’ve learned. But a couple of weeks later, you have a bad day, your energy dips, and your thoughts become negative. Eventually you give up, because “obviously” the program doesn’t work for you.

Why do we stop using the tools and empowering strategies that can help us to reach our goals and make us feel better? And why is it easier to stay committed to supporting others than ourselves? The word commitment may give you night sweats or cold feet.

Although you understand you need to commit to your health and happiness, you have a hard time subscribing to a specific routine. Life is too busy and your plate is already too full, and you can’t imagine adding one more chore to the have-to-do list.

On a deeper level, your subconscious mind may apply self-sabotaging patterns to prevent you from changing, since change and its unknowns can be scary. Or your subconscious blocks your efforts to protect you from possible failure, true to the motto: “you can’t fail if you don’t try.” All very understandable; however, there is a reason why self-commitment is the key to a growth and success.

Let’s say you work with a contractor, who assures you that the costs will definitely not exceed X amount of dollars, and he’ll easily complete the job in X amount of time. But along the way, your contractor tells you, that due to somehow unforeseeable complications the job will cost more and take longer than estimated. And then maybe one day the workers don’t show up, and the contractor doesn’t return your inquiring phone calls. How quickly would you lose trust and confidence in the person you’ve hired? When you decide to improve yourself, whether it is by going to the gym three times per week or starting to meditate for ten minutes before you go to bed, but then quickly discard your plans and abandon your good intentions, you are creating the same level of disappointment and distrust – just with yourself.

Don’t feel too bad, because most of us have been guilty of letting ourselves down. But we need to realize the damage we cause ourselves by doing so. Every time we go back on our word and break our self-commitment, we lose confidence and faith in ourselves―consciously and subconsciously. Our word holds no power. Since we don’t appear reliable and trustworthy to our subconscious mind, it may reactivate old, self-sabotaging patterns, which consequently make us feel even more stuck and insecure. Now the good news is that the opposite is also true. Consistency and commitment are some of the most potent forces for healing and growth. They signal to your subconscious mind, that you take control of your life and that you are serious about your goals. As your subconscious mind gains trust in your conscious decisions, it gradually shifts from its protection mode, into the wanting-to-please-you mode. In other words, it will provide you with its full support to reach your goals.

Commitment is the bridge to confidence. After all, confidence comes from the Latin word confidere, which means “to trust and have faith in.” And who better to trust and have faith in than ourselves? However, it’s difficult to commit to yourself if you consider it a chore or a sign that there is something wrong with you. However, if you approach your growth, self-improvement and well-being from a place of love and appreciation, you’ll open your heart to yourself more and more and, thus, make commitment the most precious gift you can give to yourself.

Sunday, April 12th, 2015 conscious awareness, Conscious Mind, Consciousness, Mind, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment, Subconscious Mind Comments Off on The Empowered Self: The Self-Commitment Issue

Free teleseminar and last chance to save $100 on your breakthrough

People often ask me, why I left my career in cardiology and chose to focus on fear and anxiety. The short answer is: I know how bad it feels to be stuck in these emotions. Since I was a child I had been struggling with anxiety; I tried to manage these intense feelings by being a good boy, who is first in class and meets everyone’s expectations. I became a perfectionist and micro-manager, who didn’t want to leave anything up to chance. And when I felt completely powerless, I even tried to gain a sense of control through obsessive behaviors, which of course only made the anxiety worse. If you have been stuck in being anxious and afraid, you probably have been feeling at times as confused and overwhelmed as I did. And since most of your energy is dedicated to protect yourself from this feeling, you find yourself often exhausted and easily irritated; you may lack enthusiasm for life and feel disconnected from the people around you. You may start dealing with insomnia, chronic pain or other physical symptoms. Some studies suggest that more than 70% of doctor visits are due to anxiety related health issues. So why does fear and anxiety seem so difficult to overcome? In my practice and research I found that most people are held back from taking charge on healing their anxiety by a few misconceptions.

ANXIETY IS:

  • A biochemical problem, which requires medication
  • Genetically passed down from mother or father
  • Hard-wired in your brain and will never go away
  • A disorder or weakness, which needs to be fought
  • Very difficult to overcome

Join me for my Free Breakthrough Fear & Anxiety Teleseminar,

Saturday, March 28 from 10:00-11:30 AM PT /1:00-2:30 PM ET

LEARN:

  • The truth about fear and anxiety
  • Why you have what it takes to transform your life
  • How to use your subconscious to heal & empower yourself
  • An effective process to stop anxiety in its tracks
  • How you can breakthrough fear and anxiety in just 3 months

Here is your call-in information for the Free Breakthrough Teleseminar on
Saturday, March 28 from 10:00-11:30 AM PT.

Call 1-712-432-3066 Conference Code: 400386

Looking back at my childhood, I wish somebody would have explained to me then, what I know now about why and how our mind is creating fear and anxiety and showed me tools to overcome these challenges. So if you are ready to end your struggles with anxiety and create a stronger foundation of confidence and inner peace, take advantage of this free teleseminar.

If you are ready to overcome fear and anxiety for good then
Register by Monday, 3/16 for the upcoming Breakthrough and Empowerment
3 Month Video Webinar Intensive and save $100.

Click here for more information.

Monday, March 16th, 2015 Conscious Mind, Consciousness, depression, Mind-Body-Spirit, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment Comments Off on Free teleseminar and last chance to save $100 on your breakthrough

How Do You Know You Have an Anxiety Problem?

10982316_sWhen was the last time that fear and anxiety made you feel vulnerable, unsafe and out of control? Being anxious can feel so intense and overwhelming, that all you want is to suppress or get rid of it. But how do you that? Chances are that neither your parents nor your teachers in school showed you how to deal with anxiety. And like most of us, you had to figure out on your own, how to respond to being anxious or insecure. The problem is that you may have become so good in managing your anxiety, that you don’t even realize that you’re just surviving every day, rather than finding joy and purpose in your life.
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There are 4 major survival patterns, through which most people try to consciously and subconsciously control their fears and anxieties. If you are finding yourself using one or several of these survival patterns on a daily basis, you know you have an anxiety problem.

The Avoider

If you are an avoider, you are probably very sensitive to criticism, rejection and failure. You try to escape potential hurt through making yourself smaller or even invisible. You hide in a small and controllable comfort zone and preemptively loath and criticize yourself, before anyone else can do this to you. Outside of your refuge, you vigilantly scan your surroundings for any signs of judgment or danger. As an avoider you deny yourself any sense of empowerment, because in your mind feeling confident and positive only increases the risk of getting hurt.

The Pleaser

As a pleaser you believe that your best chances to avoid painful rejection or abandonment, is to make sure that everyone is “ok” with you. You may be the care-taker, who feels overly responsible for others; the chameleon, who is able to fit in everywhere; or the jokester, who tries to win people over through being the life of the party. In pleasing mode you try to manage your anxiety by not being alone, which is why your sense of safety and worthiness depends on the approval of others.

The Controller

If you have the constant need to control every aspect of your life, you may not realize that all you are doing is to manage your fear of being powerlessness. You may even take on the role of being the authority and strictly enforce your ideas and rules through anger, threats and punishment, just to avoid feeling exposed and unsafe. By controlling others through instilling a sense of insecurity and powerlessness, you feel more empowered and secure. However, underneath this dominating behavior often reside profound feelings of inferiority, vulnerability and pain, which stem from traumas and confusion from your childhood.

The Achiever

Are you known as a go-getter, who always exceeds everyone’s expectations? Do you continue to strive for the next achievement, never taking the time to enjoy the one you just reached? Or maybe you call yourself a perfectionist, who can’t accept mediocrity. As an (“over-“) achiever, failure and second-place aren’t an option, because your identity and worthiness are defined by your successes. However, although this form of drive and competitiveness may have got you far, deep inside it is still the deep-seated fear of not being good enough, which keeps you running and striving. All of these survival patterns have one thing in common: they don’t lead to a true sense of inner peace and happiness. As you become more and more dependent on these strategies to cope with your anxiety and insecurity, you drain your energy and power, which only increases the likelihood of feeling stressed and anxious. Because no matter how many people you have avoided or kept successfully at arm’s length; and no matter how many you have “wowed,” made happy or controlled – in the end you may still end up feeling powerless, because you have been defining yourself through circumstances and people around you, and thus making them more important than yourself. The good news is, that you can overcome these fear and anxiety patterns faster than you may expect, by discovering and addressing their subconscious root causes. If you are ready to stop fear and anxiety from running your life and tap into your true potential, join me for my upcoming

Breakthrough & Empowerment Life-Video Webinar

What’s included in this 3-month program?

  • Two monthly 90-minute live interactive video breakthrough sessions
  • Preparation & integration exercises and self-empowerment tools
  • Monthly 30-minute Q & A sessions
  • Recordings of all sessions, so no worries if you can’t make it to the live calls
  • E-mail support in between sessions
  • 40 day customtailored empowerment program to solidify the breakthrough results

Bonus: Be Free: Release Stress and Anxiety MP3 Price: $595 If registered before March 15th only $495

If you are ready to start your breakthrough CLICK HERE I am looking forward to helping you transform your life.

Monday, March 9th, 2015 conscious awareness, Emotional Balance, Self-Healing, Subconscious Mind Comments Off on How Do You Know You Have an Anxiety Problem?

BREAK THROUGH TO HEALING AND EMPOWERMENT IN 95 DAYS

Since the release of “The Fear and Anxiety Solution” people have been asking me, when I will offer a seminar on overcoming fear and anxiety. Many told me that while the book gave them new insights and tools on how to overcome their emotional challenges, it has been difficult for them to navigate through the maze of their minds on their own. I understand that and I agree, which is why I am excited to now offer The Fear and Anxiety Solution Live Video Webinar – Break Through to Healing and Empowerment in 95 Days, which will start on April 8.

Does this sound familiar to you?

  • You feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety
  • Your worries and insecurities prevent you from doing what you really want
  • Your life is becoming smaller and smaller
  • Your negative emotions and panic attacks make you feel powerless and stuck
  • You’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work

If you have been struggling with anxiety, worry, insecurity or stress, you know that your natural reaction is to try to just get rid of these uncomfortable emotions. But you have probably also noticed that the more you fight your anxiety, the stronger it seems to get. Why? Because, similar to physical pain, you can’t just suppress the symptom –the solution is that you need to address its cause.

In this 3-month program you will learn how to identify, understand and heal the deeper subconscious root causes of your fear and anxiety, so that you can live your fullest potential. Are you ready to…?

  • Be free from past traumatic events
  • Create a new foundation of confidence and self-empowerment
  • Be calm and centered no matter what the circumstances
  • Have a deeper understanding and appreciation for the truth of who you are
  • Overcome oversensitivity
  • Experience a greater sense of wholeness and congruency
  • Enhance your relationships, career, health and overall well-being

Why this live video seminar can give you the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for? You probably agree, that one of the biggest challenges with fear and anxiety is, that it can make you feel isolated and confused. While everyone else seems to be able have it together, you are feeling more and more helpless and alone. And no matter how hard you try to make yourself feel better, your own mind seems to be too complex and confusing to make sense out of it. I have been helping thousands of people all over the world with my personal breakthrough and empowerment program to overcome their fear and anxiety. In this 3 month seminar, I will guide you step-by-step through this program and teach you how to take your power back and grow beyond your perceived limitations. And as you are working together with a group of people, who have been going through similar struggles as you do, you realize that you are no longer alone. In between sessions, you will connect with empowerment partners, so that you can support each other to implement what you learn in each segment and stay on track. What’s included in this 3-month program?

  1. Six 90-minute live interactive video breakthrough sessions (Wednesday 9 AM PT, noon ET)
  2. Preparation and integration exercises and self-empowerment tools
  3. Monthly 30-minute Q & A sessions (Saturdays 9 AM PT, noon ET)
  4. Recording of all seminars in case you can’t make it live and so you can revisit as often as you’d like
  5. 40 day empowerment….

Bonus: Be Free: Release Stress and Anxiety MP3 Price: $595 – If registered before March 15 $495 Are you ready to break through your fear and anxiety and create a strong foundation of confidence and inner peace? The click here (link needs to be added) to start your breakthrough. I am looking forward to helping you transform your life.

Thursday, February 12th, 2015 conscious awareness, Consciousness, Emotional Balance, Mind, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment Comments Off on BREAK THROUGH TO HEALING AND EMPOWERMENT IN 95 DAYS

THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES PART 13: IS IT TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS?

Closeup Mirror Reflection of a Woman's FaceYou probably have heard the saying: “What holds us back isn’t who we are, but who we think we are.”  Whether we perceive a situation as “failure” or just “feedback,” “obstacle” or “opportunity,” “no” or “not yet” depends largely on our beliefs. Some beliefs give us wings, unleash our creative genius and help us to dig deep when the going gets tough. Others can be the prison walls of our mind, which keep us locked in our imagined limitations. Don’t you admire those people, who exhibit a relentless drive towards reaching their goals and don’t even blink in the face of a set-back?

Take Russell Wilson as an example. Being only 5’11” he was told that he was too small to be successful player in the National Football League. Yet, he ignored the nay-sayers and continued to focus on pursuing the dream of his life. Last year, after only two years playing professional football, he became one of the youngest – and shortest– quarterbacks to win the Super Bowl with his team. In interviews he often credits his positive outlook, daily visualizations and his unwavering belief that despite his physical limitations he would be able to achieve greatness as the keys to his success.

So if beliefs can make the impossible reachable, why doesn’t everybody use empowering beliefs as leverage to success? On my personal journey and in working with my clients, I found that there are three common obstacles that can make changing limiting beliefs into empowering ones difficult:

We don’t know that we are trapped in a limiting belief

Beliefs are anchored on the level of the subconscious mind and act as filters that shape and usually distort our sense of reality. For example, if you have a belief that “you are a loser” you are more likely to interpret any obstacle in your way as a reason to give up. Or you may believe that “the world is harsh and unfriendly”; as a consequence you take every little criticism as a huge rejection, and ignore those people who love and adore you. If you have been seeing yourself or the world around you through these limiting filters for quite some time, you may not even realize that you are dealing with a warped perception of reality. I often hear people saying, “I don’t have any limiting beliefs; I just know that I can’t have what I want.” One way of identifying your limiting beliefs is to write down all your negative thoughts in the course of one week. You will notice that most of your thoughts circle around only two or three different topics. Ask yourself what you need to believe about these topics to think so negatively and you will have identified some of your limiting beliefs.

We don’t know how to choose a new belief

As a belief can shape our reality, it can also become our identity. And when you see yourself as a “loser” or the world as a “harsh and unfriendly place” it can be challenging to envision a more positive perspective. If you would choose to believe “I am a winner” or “everyone is friendly and kind” your subconscious mind would probably reject those beliefs as unrealistic fantasies. This is why it can be helpful to gently stretch your belief-system, rather than deflate yourself with too lofty ideas. So instead of calling yourself a “loser” you may decide to consider yourself as a “learner,” who is eager to grow and empower himself. And in regards to your relationship to the world around you, how about believing that “you will be a positive and healing force in it”? The goal is to expand your perception and stretch yourself out of the familiar comfort zone, while feeling motivated and excited to grow into the next bigger version of yourself.

We don’t feed our new beliefs

The greatest obstacle between an idea and its execution is doubt. Although you have decided to focus on a new, more empowering belief, you may doubt the validity of the new belief, while the familiar, limiting perspective of yourself appears still more realistic. The best way to alleviate this doubt is to collect supportive evidence that shows you that you possess the potential and inner resources to truly become the self you envision. For example to reinforce the notion of being a “learner” you can write down ten skills you acquired throughout your life, or ten times you have been facing challenges and what you have learned from dealing with them. In regards to being “a positive force in the world” you could ask the people that know you and care about you, what they love and appreciate about you. In looking for such supporting evidence, you will likely gain a broader, kinder, and more complete perspective of yourself and your potential.  

Having said all that, when it comes to changing our limiting beliefs, the single most important step is to accept that that nobody but ourselves can hold us back from growing into our empowered selves.

 
Friday, January 16th, 2015 conscious awareness, Conscious Mind, Consciousness, Emotional Balance, Positive Thinking, self-esteem Comments Off on THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES PART 13: IS IT TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS?

THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES: PART 12 “HOW TO TRUST YOUR NATIONAL RHYTHM”

Woman listening to musicThe holiday season has just started. Are you looking forward to celebrating with your family and friends? Or do you dread this time of the year, because it means more obligations, business and stress for you? One of the most common reasons why you may feel more stressed and overwhelmed during the holidays is that you are not honoring your internal rhythm. Your personal rhythm consists of the mental, emotional, physiological and behavioral patterns, which allow you to move through life in the most effective and sustainable ways.

You might be a person, who needs to gently approach the day and doesn’t want to talk to anyone before 10 AM. You might be someone, who needs to eat a light meal four times per day, or follow a consistent work-out routine to feel centered and energized. Or your inner introvert might require you to spend a few hours every day quietly by yourself, before you feel ready to engage with others again. You may rather burn the mid-night oil, than leaving anything on your to-do-list undone. You may sleep better when you go to bed early or you may need a nap in the middle of the day. When you are tuned into your internal rhythm, you feel in sync with your life. Work, appointments, taking care of the family, friends and yourself all happens without struggle or resistance.

We all have a personal rhythm, we just don’t always pay attention to it. The holidays are especially challenging, because we tend to focus more on the desires and expectation of others, than listen to what feels “right” to us. We tend to throw off everything that keeps us balanced and sane; we stop working out, spend more time in the shopping malls than at home and usually eat and drink way too much. Any personal needs get quickly pushed aside to attend to those of our loved ones. No wonder that after weeks of overextending ourselves, come January the “annual post-holidays hang-over” sets in.

Losing your internal rhythm usually doesn’t happen all at once, but goes through different stages. It may start with a simple worry of not being able to get everything you are supposed to do done; you compare yourself with others and find them so much more proficient and capable than yourself. To compensate for these “shortcomings” you make your to-do-list longer, your plate fuller and move faster through the day. Being busier makes you neglect the routines and habits that keep you centered and grounded; you may stop meditating, skip your work-out and cancel your massage appointment. Instead you push yourself harder, sleep less and fuel yourself with sugar and caffeine. You no longer move at your own pace, plan ahead and feel in charge of your day. Instead you franticly run around playing catch up with life and although you completely exhaust yourself, you don’t feel that you get anything accomplished. Soon you feel wired-tired, overwhelmed, cranky and snap at everyone around you, which only makes you feel more anxious, insecure and disconnected from yourself – and your life.

So how can you first of all find and then stay in your natural rhythm no matter what the circumstances?

Listen to my upcoming empowerment radio show, and learn how you can use your authentic rhythm to stay in the flow of ease and joy during this holiday season.

I wish you a happy, peaceful and heart-filled holiday season and a blessed 2015.

Sunday, December 7th, 2014 conscious awareness, Conscious Mind, Mind-Body-Spirit, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment Comments Off on THE EMPOWERED SELF SERIES: PART 12 “HOW TO TRUST YOUR NATIONAL RHYTHM”

Stress Solutions Summit

With all the distractions of today’s busy modern culture and the fast pace of our life styles, stress has become an all too common influence upon our health and well-being. It is often the primary cause of physical, mental and emotional dis-ease, and that is why a summit like this is so relevant and important in these times.

Friedemann-Schaubb-600x400-Affiliate-Stress-Solutions-Summit I will be joined by some of the most knowledgeable relaxation and stress management masters on the planet, including Dr. Norm Shealy, Mary Manin Morrissey, Derek Rydall, Donna Eden, Dr. Mario Martinez, Dr. Theresa Dale, and others. Along with these guests and Lisa Garr, I will present inspiring and practical techniques for minimizing stress and the harmful disorders it can cause. This Summit will help you to transcend your current challenges and move to a lasting peace, increased abundance, longevity, health and contentment. My interview will broadcast on Thursday, December 4th, at 1:00 PM Pacific Standard Time, and I sincerely hope you will tune in. If you have a desire to create a better life, that stems from a calm cool center within yourself, you will be delighted with this practical information that we’re going to bring you! Reserve your seat by clicking here.

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014 conscious awareness, depression, Mind, Mind-Body-Spirit, self-esteem, Stress Comments Off on Stress Solutions Summit

The Empowered Self Series: Part 11: How to Make Trust the Antidote to Fear

Do you find it hard to trust?  Trusting is defined as “firmly believing in the reliability, goodness, truth, or ability of someone or something.”

Trust is a natural ability, which we are all born with. Maybe we learn to trust in the warm and soft environment of our mothers’ wombs, where we can feel completely sheltered, held and nourished. The shock of entering into the “real” world is probably buffered by the belief that we will continue to be looked after. At first our trust in ourselves grows tremendously, as ever little step we take and every word we utter is met with great applause from our parents. However, since we still remain rather powerless and dependent, our mind, especially our subconscious, soaks up all information from the outside that appears relevant to our sense of safety and comfort. Negative messages, criticism or disappointments infiltrate our subconscious and affect us deeply. It doesn’t take major trauma for us to doubt and wonder whether we can really trust to be safe, loved, or good enough.

For many people, who have encountered betrayal, let down, failure and hurt trust is just another word for foolish naïveté. The problem is that not trusting can lead to a vicious cycle, causing us to believe that hyper-vigilance, micromanaging, and even obsessive behaviors are the only way to maintain some sense of power and control when, in actuality, it is fear and anxiety that control our lives.  In other words, we are living in continuous survival mode. In order to overcome our fears and switch into thriving mode, we need to build a strong foundation of trust, which ideally rests on three tiers: Trust in ourselves, trust in others and trust in life or a higher power. But how can we establish such a foundation despite the disappointments and hurt of the past?

Listen to my upcoming show on Empowerment Radio and learn the keys on how to build to trust – and let go of fear and control.

Sunday, November 9th, 2014 Mind-Body-Spirit, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment, Self-Healing, Unconscious Mind Comments Off on The Empowered Self Series: Part 11: How to Make Trust the Antidote to Fear

The Empowered Self Series: Part 10-Healthy Boundaries Start From Within

boundariesDo you have boundary issues? For many people setting boundaries is more uncomfortable than enduring the pain of getting disrespected or walked all over. The desire to please and the ensuing fear of rejection can thwart any efforts to speak up, push back and stand up for oneself. However, the challenge with boundaries isn’t only how to enforce them, but also to recognize when they are invaded. There are three ways in which your boundaries can be breached.

The first and most direct one is, when people simply disregard your limits. A part from physical and verbal abuse, there are many less aggressive ways in which others, consciously or unconsciously, can step across your boundaries. For example, some people don’t accept your “no“ for an answer; they continue to bombard you with probing questions, although you indicate that your uncomfortable answering them. Others assume that you are always available for them and ignore your need for privacy. Or you may have encountered those, who expect you to fulfill their needs and if you don’t punish you with rejection and blame. You know that your boundaries have been aggressively broken, when you feel small and powerless.

The second more subtle boundary invasion occurs when people don’t accept you and the choices you are making. Let’s say, you just start feeling good about the positive changes you have been making, but your family seems to prefer the “old” you. Or your excitement about your new interest gets squashed by your colleague’s eye-roll. And when you get together with your friends, they usually get a kick out of making fun of you, no matter how embarrassed you become. These subtle ways in which boundaries get overstepped often hurt the most and leave you feeling insecure and ashamed of yourself.

The third breakdown of your boundaries occurs purely on an emotional and energetic level. Perhaps you routinely feel overwhelmed and drained after going to the mall or a social gathering. A colleague having a bad day can leave you feeling deflated and depressed as well. Or you find yourself still thinking about work on Saturday morning, because a difficult conversation with a client from a few days ago is still weighing on you. If you think about yourself as being sensitive, you are probably familiar with this form of boundary breakdown. You tend to absorb and become entangled with the emotions and energies of others and thus lose touch with your center. As result you feel easily overwhelmed and unsafe in the outside world.

But no matter how your boundaries get invaded, your natural reaction may have been to either attack or avoid those, who crossed them. However, are confrontation or retreat really the best ways to strengthen your boundaries? Let’s take your health as an analogy; the most effective way to avoid getting a cold isn’t chasing bugs with disinfectants or stop leaving the house, but to strengthen your immune system.

Monday, October 13th, 2014 Healing Team, Human Body, Mind, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment, Positive Thinking Comments Off on The Empowered Self Series: Part 10-Healthy Boundaries Start From Within

The Empowered Self Series: Part 9 “How to Expand your Mental-Emotional Flexibility”

As babies we heavily relied on our innate mental and emotional flexibility. Birth alone already required us to quickly adjust to the dramatic changes of our environment and “life-style.” After nine months of free-floating in the cozy womb, the shock of suddenly having to deal with gravity, glaring lights and noisy people must have made many of us want to crawl right back into where we came from.  And that was only the beginning. New experiences of hunger, cold, hard surfaces and full diapers didn’t help to make this new reality more inviting. Yet, even though we may have felt rather helpless and dependent on others, our mind didn’t just give up in the face of these huge obstacles – and our obvious limitation. Tirelessly computing and analyzing the massive amount of internal and external information, we quickly figured out that we can use our voice to get attention, that we can move and alter the position of our bodies just on our own, and that we aren’t just an extension of our mothers, but that we have our own, separate identity. All of these tremendous accomplishments are testimonies to the innate emotional and mental flexibility of our minds. But then somehow most of us loose touch with this powerful inner resource.

Entering into my thirties, I didn’t see the value in being flexible. Who needs flexibility when you have a clear plan? And I had my life figured out. I worked in a well-known cardiology department at the University of Munich and aimed on steadily climbing the career ladder all the way to eventually becoming a professor there. Since basic research was a requirement to advance in academia, I was about to spend the next two years in a post-doctoral fellowship at the Max-Planck Institute in Munich, which to be honest I didn’t particularly look forward to. But you do what you have to do, right?

Well, two unexpected events wrecked my well thought-out plans – and changed my life for good.

One night, after an especially stressful day in the hospital, I suddenly got yanked out of my sleep. Drenched in sweat, heart pounding, barely able to slow down my breathing, I heard from somewhere deep within a somewhat pleading voice asking me: “Are you sure you want to do this for the next 35 years?”

In that moment I realized that I had been so rigidly aiming towards my ambitions, that I had completely dismissed and suppressed any emotional awareness around whether I was truly pursuing the right path. The truth heals – and initially it can be hard to swallow. Despite my best efforts to dismiss this event as simply a sign that I was a bit stressed out and overworked, I couldn’t shake off the question on whether I was truly on the right track in my life.

Interestingly enough, a few weeks later, I received the news that my research position at the Max-Planck Institute was no longer available due to funding issues. From one day to the next my career had come to a screeching halt. I could neither go back to the hospital, since I was about to start my two-year research break, nor did I have anywhere else to go.

So I went with my best friend to one of Munich’s famous beer-gardens to commiserate with her. It was there, sitting under ancient chestnut trees, sipping sadly on my stein, that all of the sudden the flexible part of my mind kicked back in. “What about going to America?” – was the thought that bubbled up seemingly out of nowhere, placing itself dead-center into the forefront of my mind.

How about you?  Do you consider your mind flexible or did it become rather rigid over the years? Since you may have not thought about this question until now, here are a few questions, which can give you an idea on whether your mind could use some “stretching” to gain its innate flexibility back:

Are you attached to your routines (how you get to work, where and what you eat, when and what you watch on TV, when you work out, what you wear…..)?

Do you get nervous or frustrated when things are not going to plan?

Are you afraid of trying out something new (because you may fail – or what others may think of you?)

Are you aware of your comfort zone – and does it tend to get smaller with the years?

Do you get easily bored?

Do you feel quickly overwhelmed when dealing with problems?

Do you resist life changes (aging, new job, kids growing-up, moving…)?

Do you have a strong sense of right and wrong – with not much room in the middle?

Were you ever told that you are judgmental or righteous?

Do you have a hard time forgiving others or letting go of the past?

Do you avoid taking risks?

If you agreed with more than 5 of these questions, chances are that your mind could use some stretching.

Listen to my next interview on empowerment radio and learn how you can regain mental-emotional flexibility, so that you can shift more easily from problems to solutions, from boredom to creativity, and obstacles to opportunities.

Sunday, September 21st, 2014 conscious awareness, Consciousness, Mind, Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment Comments Off on The Empowered Self Series: Part 9 “How to Expand your Mental-Emotional Flexibility”
Friedemann Schaub, M.D. Ph.D. e: [email protected] p: 1.866.903.MIND or 206.323.2762
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